


you belong (to the temporary moments of a dream)

by greeneyesontheroad



Category: Big Bang (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Art Student Kim Taehyung | V, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, How Do I Tag, M/M, Smut, business man seunghyun, five times plus one type of thing, minjoon are hinted and so are yoonseok, this is so self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 02:11:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14486532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeneyesontheroad/pseuds/greeneyesontheroad
Summary: five times taehyung knew he loved seunghyun + the time he finally told him





	you belong (to the temporary moments of a dream)

**Author's Note:**

> OK SO like it's TWO IN THE MORNING BUT I've had this collecting dust in my docs for ELEVEN months and i had an idea for another pairing so i had to FUCKING FINISH THIS BUUUUT LET ME TELL Y'ALL this bitch is o u t r a g e d you know once upon a time I read something that said “if something exists, then there’s an internet story about it” AND LEMME TELL YA BOTH CHOI SEUNGHYUN AND KIM TAEHYUNG EXIST but I couldn’t even find one (1) little drabble about these two in english nor Spanish!!!!!!!!!!! all I could find was Turkish and OKAY I WAS SUPER HAPPY KNOWING THAT SOMEBODY ELSE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS PAIRING B U T I DON’T KNOW TURKISH [this is me, crying in the club] SO YEAH OUTRAGED MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok I’m sorry about this rant but don’t sleep on this god god god!!!!!!!!
> 
> alsoooooooooooooooooo, as you know english is not my first language, pls forgive my dumb ass

I

taehyung knows there are worse things in life than writing an essay at midnight on a tuesday, but he just can’t seem to get that through his mind. so, he starts enlisting some of them, like running out of money or food, actually failing the subject or puppies being mistreated but it just isn’t effective.

so, he calls seunghyun.

he doesn’t answer, though. taehyung only gets more upset and starts angrily googling about rudolf stingel.

however, his concentration falters mid search and he finds himself dreamily thinking about yesterday when he was happy and full of life playing overwatch with jungkook and not living dead like he is at the moment. what the fuck, why did he wait until last moment to begin with his work? he made a promise to himself the last time he procrastinated so much, he had to fake a bad cold to excuse himself with his professor that he would never leave anything to the last second, again.

he played himself. oh god.

he looks at his assignment, not even half done, and feels like he could cry.

seunghyun didn’t answer his phone call and he’s going to die.

with all the strength he can summon, taehyung sends a message to the group chat he has with jungkook and jimin.

**_from: tae_ **

_guys r u up i need help w/ my essay fuk_

**_from: minie_ **

_i wish i could help u but namjoon is being romantic and_

_we r goin to fuck_

_luck tae!_

**_from: jk_ **

_bitch I didn’t need that information fuck you hyung_

**_from: tae_ **

_;(_

 

taehyung is about to send the meme of the century about how jimin is an asshole and bros before hoes, when his phone vibrates and oh, seunghyun is calling him.

“hyung! where were you, hyung? I need attention!” he answers immediately.

seunghyun laughs and taehyung feels himself flushing, god he adores when seunghyun laughs, “hello baby, I’m sorry. I’m a little busy right now” taehyung hears rustling on the line and he _knows_ seunghyun must be much more than _a little busy_ , shit, why is he so needy? “but what happened, sweetheart? how are you doing with your essay?”

taehyung bites his lip. seunghyun is too much, he shouldn’t be bothering him, “I’m good, I was just calling to talk to you.”

“oh baby, that’s fine, too. I’m going over some papers, nothing too serious but a little boring. I wish I was drinking wine, though” seunghyun laughs again and jesus, alright, taehyung can picture his dimples and his eyes and the expression lines on the corners of his eyes and he gets so distracted he ends up commenting, “it can’t be as boring as doing a paper at midnight without really knowing anything about the subject.”

“taehyung, oh my god, why don’t you ask someone for help?”

“hyung I did! but jimin said he was busy fucking and jungkook simply ignored me, and nobody else can help me” he whines like a little child and seunghyun sighs. they stay silent for a few moments and then taehyung hears some more rustling on the line and a muted _oh_ from his hyung.

“um. I should go, tae” his boyfriend says out of nowhere sounding a little too cheery and taehyung gets confused, “what? hyung why? no!”

seunghyun shushes him, “don’t worry baby, we’ll talk later. keep working hard!” and with that, he hangs up the call.

taehyung looks at his phone like it just insulted his mother. but then he remembers how busy seunghyun must be, he usually doesn’t spend the night in his office unless he has something really important to do.

fuck, he shouldn’t have called.

now he feels not only like drowning because of his essay but also a little anxious because he hates annoying his boyfriend.

he starts to work again, still suffering because he just doesn’t find the information he needs and half an hour passes when there’s a knock on his door.

taehyung looks at the clock: a quarter past one. who the fuck is awake at this hour but also, who the fuck could need him at this hour?

it’s probably jimin who’s finished with his fucking and now feels bad for ignoring him when he needed him the most.

he walks to the door while screaming “fuck you jimin! I don’t want your help anymore, I have dignity!”

when he opens, though, he’s surprised with what he finds.

there, at his door, is seunghyun dressed in one of his pricey suits, holding a take away bag from mcdonald’s and a strawberry sundae, smiling at him, “baby, why are you so rude?”

taehyung is speechless, so he does what anybody would do if their fine man of a boyfriend showed up at their door at 1a.m. he takes the bag and ice cream out of his hands and puts it on his desk calmly and then jumps on him, “hyung! oh my god! what are you doing here?!” seunghyun laughs and caresses his back, “I figured you needed help, so I came here.”

taehyung is so happy he could explode in the moment. “hyung, you didn’t have to…”

“but I wanted to. didn’t you tell me your paper is about rudolf stingel? he’s like my favorite painter ever, I’ll gladly help you, baby. no worries.” his hyung is smiling and still holding him and caressing his back and he feels so contented that he thinks it’ll be okay.

they start working.

seunghyun explains him everything he asks, going into detail with everything, even showing him some references, and kisses his cheek at random and plays with his free hand.

by 3a.m they’re almost done, seunghyun is noticeably sleepy and taehyung remembers that his boyfriend was indeed busy when he called him.

“hyung,” he whispers, “what about your paper work? don’t you need to finish it?”

seunghyun looks at him, the way he always does when he’s being silly and pecks him on the mouth, “don’t worry tae, I’ll do it in the morning.”

taehyung knows what this means. seunghyung is going straight to work after they finish.

he looks at his hyung, sees the way he’s steadily breathing now that he’s checking his phone, looks at his hands and rings, his Armani suit and shoes, the way his hair is styled (even though is a little messier by the second) and thinks about all the trouble he’s giving him and the way seunghyun is just smiling and kissing and helping him with his college homework and thinks _wow, I am in love with this man_.

so, thinking that he can finish the conclusion by himself later, he puts the final period on his work for now, takes seunghyun hands in his and helps him to stand up.

seunghyun looks at him dumbly and opens his mouth to ask taehyung what happened but taehyung beats him, pushes him down to his bed and kisses him fiercely, “hyung, you’re the most awesome person I have ever met. I’m so thankful for your help.”

his hyung smiles at him, his eyes sparkling and nudges taehyung to kiss him again.

that dawn, taehyung knows for the first time that he _loves_ seunghyun, however, he doesn’t get to tell him because seunghyun ends up giving him a handjob for a good job and he reciprocates it by giving a blowjob to his hyung.

they sleep in and by noon they hurriedly say goodbye while getting dressed.

good thing taehyung was actually able to finish his conclusion ten minutes before his deadline and that seunghyun was smart enough to leave the easiest papers to go through in the morning so he finishes quickly and no harm is done.

taehyung feels so lucky he ends up treating jimin to lunch for being an asshole and not helping him, just because it turned into seunghyun being the best boyfriend ever.

 

II

taehyung has been dating seunghyun for six months when he starts to feel left out.

he knows all of seunghyun’s friends; he knows daesung and seungri, who are funny and the closest to his age, knows youngbae who reminds him a lot of seokjin because he is caring and sassy but there’s this guy. jiyong.

taehyung is not the type to get jealous. he respects seunghyun’s boundaries, and would never ask him for more than he’s willing to give, but oh god, sometimes taehyung’s weak.

seunghyun is a strange person, and don’t get him wrong, taehyung likes a lot his personality, but sometimes he has… questions.

and seunghyun talks a lot to him, he tells him about his day, his likes and dislikes, his confides him secrets. so yeah, he _knows_ seunghyun, but he can’t quite shake the feeling off.

the feeling being that he thinks he is missing something and he knows this guy _jiyong_ knows whatever that is.

he _has_ to know, it would explain perfectly why he is so close to seunghyun. and it doesn’t help that he knows they’ve known each other since they were kids.

so taehyung starts wondering, does seunghyun really trust him? why does it feel like he is hiding some big secret from him?

it all comes to an end on a saturday night, when seunghyun invites him to hang out with him and his friends in this fancy bar downtown. taehyung is a little busy with college, so he comes an hour late, and he’s feeling a little self-conscious because he knew he had to dress his best and act his best because well, it’s a very stylish place. and he’s doing it, but he feels a little out of place either way.

when he finds seunghyun and the guys, everybody salutes him loudly and say that they are happy he could make it, even jiyong, who’s always been quiet, so he presumes they have had some drinks.

taehyung smiles and seunghyun’s hand finds his to make him sit on his lap, “baby, you look so dashing.” seunghyun slurs a little and kisses his neck softly while daesung makes a noise of disgust and seungri and youngbae laugh at them. jiyong just looks at them and then looks away.

they spend the night talking and even though seunghyun usually doesn’t like to drink anything other than wine, today he looks happy with cheap alcohol and the company of the people he loves. taehyung loves happy seunghyun, and he loves it a lot more when his hyung starts stroking his thigh and kissing his cheeks.

“guys,” says seunghyun, “I know that taehyung is young but,” he pauses and looks around as if he’s trying to find the words, taehyung holds his breath, oh god what is he going to say? “guys I want y’all to know he makes killer pancakes.”

everybody starts laughing at that, “hyung, what the fuck does it have to do with his age” answers seungri looking at him as if he’s crazy. seunghyun moves his hand around as if it is obvious and the table starts laughing again.

after another round of shots, taehyung excuses himself to the bathroom and goes practically skipping, he feels like floating from having such a good time.

when he comes back to the table, though, he feels as if his good mood was drained, because there is it again, seunghyun being… that way with jiyong.

that way taehyung can only describe as intimate.

they’re whispering things in each other’s ears and jiyong’s eyes are fucking shining.

and taehyung is tired, because he hasn’t been feeling left out for long, but the feeling is so powerful that he can’t stand it. does seunghyun like jiyong? why is he acting like this?

maybe is the alcohol in his system, maybe is because he feels brave because he knows seunghyun is very drunk, but he goes to the table and does the thing he knows he shouldn’t do: a scene.

“seunghyun hyung,” he says when he gets there. seunghyung looks at him unfocused. he has one of his hands on jiyong’s arm and the other on his thigh, and taehyung sees red, “what do you think you are doing?” he asks as calmly as he can.

“jiyongie is telling me a secret. shh, tae, a secret is between two” he puts his index finger on his mouth and smiles. taehyung feels like crying, “yeah, hyung? I know a secret is between two, like, that’s what _you_ two are always doing!”

seunghyun frowns, “baby, what are you saying?” but he doesn’t move his hands, still touching jiyong, who’s smiling at him like he’s the one who _owns_ seunghyung, and taehyung’s drunk brain has had enough, “you know what? forget it seunghyun.” he doesn’t even bothers using the honorific and starts walking to the exit.

seunghyung starts calling his name but he’s not having it, he’s leaving, period.

when he gets to the avenue and starts cab calling, seunghyun catches him by his arm.

he looks out of breath and scandalized, taehyung wants to punch him.

“leave me alone” taehyung says and shakes his arm to get rid of seunghyun.

“baby what’s happening? why are you so mad I thought you were having fun!” his voice is slurred and sad and hysteric. oh god, taehyung had forgotten seunghyun gets anxious when he’s drinking.

he feels his heart drop a little, “hyung, go back with your friends, I’m leaving. we can talk later.”

seunghyun shakes his head and pouts and jesus, is so easy to forget that his hyung is almost thirty when he acts like a kid. “tae, don’t leave me.” he pouts harder.

however, taehyung is still angry and he has some dignity, “go back with jiyong, you were enjoying yourself just fine with him, hyung.” and returns to his mission of finding a cab.

seunghyun frees his arm and looks at him intently. meditating. then laughs.

taehyung spins to look at him so fast he feels dizzy, “what the hell are you laughing about?!” he screams, and the next thing he knows is that seunghyung is grabbing him by his neck and kissing him, hard.

when they separate, seunghyung looks at him mischievously, “sweetheart, are you by any chance… jealous?” he looks so smug. taehyung hates him.

“no! why would I?! me?! jealous?! next joke!” but he knows he’s getting hysteric and now they look like two maniacs, because taehyung is screaming scandalized and seunghyung is laughing out loud.

“tae baby! you are jealous oh my god!”

taehyung is mortified, he’s going to kill this man.

“let’s get out of here and have a talk, baby. I don’t want you to be upset.” says seunghyun and taehyung wants to refuse, look at him in the eye and say no, go home and sleep his problems away, but the cab is finally there and seunghyun is already telling the man where to go, so he just let’s himself be dragged by his boyfriend.

 it turns out that seunghyun told the driver to take them to a little 24hrs café, close to seunghyun’s house, in the fancy part of the city.

seunghyun tells him to take a seat and goes to make the orders. he walks strange because he’s not entirely sober yet, and taehyung finds it funny so he snickers a little behind his hand.

when his boyfriend comes back, he has two iced coffees in his hands, and there’s a woman accompanying him with a plate of sweets. “let’s talk then,”

taehyung is drinking his iced coffee calmly and says, “I hate that you leave me out.”

seunghyun looks at him as if he’s crazy, “no hyung, don’t look at me like that. you know is true. I wonder, what secrets do you keep from me. don’t you trust me? why do I feel like jiyong knows you better than me? why are you so… intimate with him?” he spills his feelings out and then feels pathetic, god, he is so insecure.

seunghyun, who’s still trying to recover from the alcohol, takes a sip of his black tea and sighs, “tae, I- of course I trust you, with my life. why would you think otherwise? look I understand you’re jealous bu-“

“no! don’t _but_ me, seunghyun hyung, you _are_ that way with jiyong. I just wanna know, why? I mean I know you two have know each other since forever but I am your boyfriend hyung, and I don’t want to be left out! do you like him? did you have something with him?” taehyung frowns deeply, the more he thinks about it, the more hurt he feels.

“what! no! oh my god jiyong and me are like brothers, tae” seunghyun pulls his better face of disgust, the one taehyung finds the funniest, but not even that lightens the mood.

they stay silent, taehyung looking at the piece of strawberry cake seunghyun bought and seunghyun just keeps drinking from his cup.

seunghyun exhales loudly and takes taehyung’s hand, “alright babe, let me tell you a story. this is a sad story so embrace yourself for an angsty throwback!” he tries to be funny again, taehyung frowns deeper. “okay so, when I was little, I was a fat kid. like really fat and, you know, it didn’t bother me. but you know kids, sometimes they can be cruel and, when I was eleven, some guys started bullying me because I was a little- I mean a big meatball. jiyong hated it and he stood for me back then but” seunghyun takes a breath and taehyung is confused about where all of this is going but he squeezes his hand anyway, trying to comfort him, “sometimes, things leave scars, babe”

they fall silent again and taehyung tries to picture it, a little seunghyung but chubby cheeks and chubby hands, he smiles without meaning to. “I’m sorry hyung, people is so nasty and-“

“I haven’t finished, darling” seunghyun kisses his hand and looks at him in the eye “so I started having some… problems, and one thing led to another and I ended up at the hospital for starving myself when I was seventeen. jiyong was there through it all, you know? he’s my best friend. it took me a lot of time to recover from that and even now, sometimes I feel a little awkward, but things got better. what I’m trying to say is, I’m not leaving you out on purpose, baby. I didn’t even notice. and I’m really sorry. I just want you to understand that jiyong is _just_ my best friend and you should never feel jealous or threatened about him” seunghyun finishes, one of his hands is now rubbing his own face.

taehyung feels kind of weird now, he wanted to know what was the deal with his hyung and jiyong, but now he feels kind of bad for doubting him like that. of course, jiyong is intimate with his hyung, they’ve been _brothers_ since forever.

taehyung smiles a little and throws himself over the table to kiss seunghyun quickly, “I’m sorry, hyung.” and he means it, he’s really sorry for pushing seunghyun like that when he never really gave him reasons to doubt him.

later, seunghyun invites him to his house. they change into their pajamas, sit on the couch and pretend to watch a movie.

sitting on seunghyun’s lap, with seunghyun leaving love bites on his neck, taehyung starts thinking about those times when his hyung has got weird about pulling his shirt off or when he denies a bit of food even when taehyung knows he hasn’t eaten anything and realizes just truly how deep run those scars that his hyung mentioned earlier. his stomach drops a little, seunghyun deserves nothing but happiness and stars.

now that he knows this, he kind of understands why jiyong acts that way with his hyung, the guy is just protecting a person who he loves. he decides he’ll work to improve his relationship with jiyong.

seunghyung sucks a hickey on his collarbone and he loses his train of thought, “hyung” taehyung whimpers, and seunghyung seems to decide that he’s not up to pretend they’re watching the movie anymore.

he gets up, and takes taehyung with him, holding him by his thighs.

taehyung kisses him wildly, all tongue and teeth.

that night they grind on each other until they’re both sated, and when seunghyun falls asleep, while tracing his eyelids and nose and his cute mouth, taehyung recapitulates the night and once again realizes that he’s in love with the man softly snoring in front of him.

he’ll tell him in the morning, is the last thing he thinks when he accommodates himself in seunghyun’s embrace and falls asleep

(he doesn’t get to tell him in the morning when he wakes up and seunghyun is making pancakes, looking so domestic that taehyung’s heart starts doing somersaults and he gets distracted)

 

III

taehyung is an adult who’s good at adulting, this is a fact.

that’s why, he understands he has to give seunghyun his space and that his life can’t revolve around his boyfriend completely.

so, he goes out and tries to be a good student and does all the things a normal college student does. but he is clingy and he can’t help himself when he wants to know about seunghyun constantly.

and seunghyun seems to feel the same. he’s always texting or calling him, going to his dorm on occasion and inviting taehyung to his house frequently.

the thing is, with all of this being a constant in his life, taehyung gets confused when on a friday morning he wakes up without a trace of seunghyun.

he tries to reason with himself, seunghyun is no _obligated_ to send him a good morning text every morning of his life- even though he _has_ been doing it since they started dating. and tries to start his day without feeling bad about it (hint: he felt bad about it)

taehyung went to his classes, had lunch with hoseok and namjoon (who were passionately arguing about physics, like… what the hell), and overall was the functioning adult he claims to be without feeling the need to know about seunghyun (hint again: he was dying to know what he was up to) but by two in the afternoon, he started wondering.

this has never happened before, like, he and seunghyun are always talking, always telling each other about their days and if one of them was really busy, there’d be at least some kind of hello and encouragement for the day.

taehyung asks himself if seunghyun could be possibly mad at him, but why would he? yesterday they were super fine, talking about rockets and strange looking lamps before seunghyun yawned and told taehyung that it was late so they hung up and went to sleep.

perhaps, his boyfriend is mad for something else? or perhaps he is just distracted? perhaps he forgot about taehyung and doesn’t want him anymore?

he takes a breath and tells himself to stop being dumb, why would seunghyun forget about him overnight?

before his next class, his adult senses convince him to send seunghyun a quick text that reads _hope you’re having a wonderful day! :)_  and he knows the little smiley makes it seem a little angry, but he _is_ a little angry because he just doesn’t understand why is his hyung ignoring his existence today.

his class ends and still no answer. now taehyung feels _sad_.

he is walking debauched to his dorm, looking at his phone intently as if it would put an end to seunghyun’s strange silence, when someone calls him, “tae-hyung! wait!”

he turns around to find jungkook running to him, “god, hyung, I’ve looking for you since lunch! I was wondering if you want to come play overwatch?”

taehyung shakes his head, “sorry kook, I have an essay to do and I’ve been leaving it for later since-“ his phone vibrates and he stops on his tracks. it’s a message from seunghyung.

part of him feels happy because _finally_ but other part feels angry because _where has he been all day?_

“hyung…?” jungkook presses and oh, they were talking, right.

“sorry kook,” he says again, “maybe tomorrow?” jungkook shrugs and waves goodbye then.

taehyung decides that he’s going to read his hyung message when he gets to his dorm. he had to wait two hours for him to reply, so seunghyun can also wait.

when he gets to his dorm, he launches himself to his bed and starts wondering again about his hyung and his silence.  he takes a deep breath and opens the text.

**_from: hyung baby_ ** **_♡_ **

_hello baby, I wish_

_I’ve been with a stomach flu since I woke up_

_been literally dying, promise you’ll miss me when I’m gone!!_

oh.

oh, his hyung is _sick_.

his hyung is sick and he has been thinking like a moron.

he blushes, ashamed.

**_from: tae_ **

_hyung how r u feeling now?_

_have you eaten?_

**_from: hyung baby_ ** **_♡_ **

_nooooooooo_

_food sounds horrible right now, baby_

taehyung smiles, he can imagine seunghyun whining like a baby.

he comes to a conclusion quickly: his adulting today was not successful and it wasn’t because he was clingy, but because he exaggerated before even talking to seunghyun, even when he knows that talking is a primordial part of any relationship.

so, he decides to go to seunghyun’s house and take care of him like a good boyfriend would.

without even answering him, he takes his key, his charger and his wallet and gets going.

the trip to seunghyun’s house is longer when he has to take the bus, but he spends all the time on his phone, searching for soup recipes and home remedies.

when he gets to seunghyun’s door, he suddenly doubts. isn’t he going to be a bother? does seunghyun want him to be there?

before he can overthink more, he knocks the door and waits patiently for his hyung to open.

when the door does open, a few minutes later, taehyung thinks that the bus took a wrong turn somewhere and ended in fucking heaven, what the fuck.

there’s his boyfriend, in an obviously old olive-green t-shirt and short shorts, looking extra cuddly. his face is a little pale, perhaps from puking, and his eyes droopy, so he must be tired, but he looks like an angel. all handsome and manly.

“hyung… hi” he stutters dumbly.

“tae!” seunghyun’s eyes open wide and he hugs him tightly, “what are you doing here, baby?” he smiles and kisses both his cheeks.

“I’m… here to take care of you?” he shrugs, still dumbfounded.

“oh! come in, baby!” he opens the door wide, puts his hand on taehyung’s waist to invite him in.

taehyung goes inside and when seunghyun closes the door, he just can’t resist going back to him and kissing him breathless.

something in him feels… strange.

somehow seeing seunghyung like this, obviously sick but still smiling just from knowing that he came to take care of him broke something inside taehyung.

when they separate from each other, seunghyung keeps his eyes closed and a little grin on his face. some locks of black hair falling to his forehead, “hyung, I’ve been worried all day. I hate it when I don’t know how are you doing and I’m so sorry, I don’t want to be clingy nor to bother you, but I can’t help it” taehyung confesses, cheeks burning.

seunghyun opens his eyes and takes a deep breath, “you _never_ bother me, sweetheart. the only thing you keep doing is making me the happiest man alive, you know? thank you for coming, really”

taehyung hugs him and he can feel seunghyun’s heart beating rhythmically.

he spends the rest of his day doing exactly what he said he’d do, taking care of seunghyun.

taehyung makes him sit on the couch, drapes a blanket over him (even though seunghyun is not cold, but it’s okay) and makes him a chicken soup.

a little later, seunghyun falls asleep and taehyung borrows his laptop to start with his essay.

sometime after eight, taehyung is almost finished when seunghyun wakes up from his nap, cuddled against taehyung’s shoulder.

“tae” he says, voice sleepy, “I really meant it when I said that you make me the happiest I’ve ever been”

taehyung looks at him and smiles, then leans in to kiss his boyfriend’s head. “do you feel better now?”

seunghyun takes his hand and starts playing with his fingers, “yes, thank you” he says softly and accommodates to keep sleeping.

it’s only when he is seven words away from finishing his work that the feeling takes over him, again.

it strikes him, like lightning. he is in love with seunghyun. totally, tenderly in love with this man snoring at his side.

he thinks about all the sides of him that he has seen since they started dating: serious seunghyung, anxious, sad, childish, passionate, charming, funny, mad, all the seunghyuns he has known and notices, once again, just how wildly his heart beats for him every time, just how contented and at home he makes him feel.

he loves his hyung, so much.

taehyung smiles to himself, putting the final period to his work and feels happy about being there, surrounded by all that is seunghyun.

 

IV

three weeks before their eleven months anniversary, hoseok tells taehyung something that practically keeps him up all night.

it all happens on a saturday, when they’re in a frat party.

taehyung is keeping hoseok in company while they both wait for yoongi to come.

“so, tae, how’s everything with your sugar daddy?” hoseok says suddenly, arms crossed on his chest, smirking.

taehyung narrows his eyes, “are you talking about seunghyun hyung?”

“well yeah? how many sugar daddies have you, tae?” he raises his eyebrow.

“man, he is my boyfriend not my sugar daddy” he defends, he hates when people talk about their relationship like that.

hoseok just hums and it irritates him, “seriously hoseok hyung, he’s not my sugar daddy”

hoseok hums again, “it’s okay tae I was just joking” he shakes his head.

yoongi finally comes back to the kitchen hands full with two bottles, “hobi, you have no idea what I had to do to get my hands on this, you’re lucky that I love you”

hoseok kisses yoongi and they go to the garden to drink the bottles on their own, but taehyung stays behind, thinking.

taehyung knows that seunghyun doesn’t think of him as his sugar baby, knows that he doesn’t like seunghyun because of his money and overall knows that their relationship is nothing like that, they like each other for a bunch of other reasons, but there’s something that stays with him.

seunghyun _does_ dote him a lot, and it’s not even about the material stuff (even though all mondays he wakes up to a bouquet of flowers being delivered to his dorm room because that’s the way seunghyun has to wish him a wonderful week) but more about the stuff he does for him.

like, the little things that have more to do with actions than words and gifts.

and he knows seunghyun likes doing it. also, he doesn’t think of himself as a bad boyfriend because he dotes seunghyun too, every time he can.

but even knowing all that, he still feels a little weird about it.

 

three days later, when he goes through his calendar to search for the date of his story of art midterm, he gets an idea.

there are two weeks and a few days until their anniversary, and this time, taehyung is going to take seunghyun on a date.

he spends a week planning, asking for opinions and even asks yoongi for advice because he wants it to be romantic as fuck.

it’s only when he’s texting seunghyun about jimin being an asshole to him because he didn’t share his milkshake that something catches his eye. he has the t.v on but he has been ignoring it for a while now, more interested in seunghyun’s stories. now, there’s an interesting commercial playing, about a couple having a picnic promoting some yogurt.

he feels inspired. of course!

taehyung knows seunghyun very well by now. he knows his little quirks, his most dumb interests and even his house’s password. he knows very well that behind his suit and tie façade, seunghyun is a simple man; he loves flowers, loves nature and overall loves the idea of being outside.

he also knows that seunghyun hasn’t actually been outside for a long time, too busy because of his work. so that’s it, he’s going to take seunghyung _outside_.

so, he makes the preparations. he investigates to where he can take seunghyun, tells his hyung to take the day free because he’s going to take him in a date and overall spends those weeks lowkey freaking out. but just lowkey.

when the day comes, he tells seunghyun to dress to _go out_ and to please, please come to his dorm and seunghyun appears at his door punctual at eleven am, just like taehyung asked.

he looks so cute yet manly, a white shirt and a straw hat secured on his head. he kisses taehyung and gives him a little box, “open it, sweetheart” he smiles.

it’s a necklace. seunghyun just gifted him a necklace with a small heart shaped pendant that has a small S on it.

seunghyun smiles shyly, “do you like it, baby? I had someone to make this for me because I want everybody to know you’re mine, you know?”

taehyung’s heart beats wildly, neck and cheeks and ears suddenly feeling very hot.

“I love it,” he chokes, voice caught in his throat “hyung, I love it”

seunghyun kisses him again, his hands on taehyung’s hips. he nuzzles their noses together “I’m glad, darling”

god, taehyung wants to throw his plan out and just stay on his bed, making out with him. but he wants even more to make this day a super good day for his boyfriend. he takes all his willpower and separates from him.

from there, taehyung spends an hour trying to convince seunghyun to put on a blindfold and lend him his car.

it’s funny just how opposed is seunghyung to the idea of lending taehyung his mercedes. but in the end, when he finally relents, taehyung promises him to be super careful.

it takes a little over half an hour to get to their destination because it is outside the city and when they finally get there, seunghyun suddenly says “are we on the countryside? because it surely smells like it” taehyung bursts out laughing. “what!”

seunghyun just shrugs, smiling.

seunghyun’s complete face brightens when they finally park and he takes off the blindfold. taehyung is proud of himself, he made him that happy.

“what are we doing here, sweetheart?” seunghyun wonders, eyes twinkling.

“well, on this fine day, you and I are going to collect strawberries in this seeding!” taehyung answers excitedly.

seunghyun smiles, so big his dimples are showing, and hugs taehyung tightly, “this is so amazing, baby”

they get to work soon after (when seunghyun let’s taehyung go from his embrace) and by afternoon they have collected two big baskets full of big strawberries.

“you know, hyung. my grandma used to be a farmer. I loved picking strawberries with her” he tells seunghyun, when both of them are laying on the grass, his head resting on seunghyun’s thigh.

“yeah?” he looks at taehyung, head resting on his hand.

“yeah, I used to want to be a farmer” seunghyun laughs at this, melodious. “and you? what was your dream when you were little, hyung?”

seunghyun stops laughing, eyes soft, “me? when I was little my biggest wish was to be really happy”

taehyung turns to look at him, seunghyun is already watching him intently, “I guess my dream became true? I mean, I got you, taehyung. you make me really happy” he whispers.

taehyung’s heart soars and he finds himself saying “so you didn’t like the idea of farming for the rest of your life?”

both burst out laughing until they can’t breathe anymore and when they fall silent, seunghyun looks at him intently again, nudges him to come closer.

when they kiss, it feels like his hyung is trying to breathe him in instead. he bites taehyung’s lips and caresses his neck and back, leaves a hickey on his throat.

disheveled, taehyung breaks away from him but seunghyun seems unable to stop kissing him, or so taehyung thinks when he pulls him in again.

kissing his hyung, with his heart attempting to get out of his chest, taehyung remembers the night when seunghyun was sick and how he wildly realized once again he loved him.

and he feels like he needs to say it because otherwise his chest will explode from all the things he feels for his boyfriend. he tries to break away again, and when he succeeds, he opens his eyes only to find a wild looking seunghyun looking darkly at him, “tae,” he says before taehyung can even remember what he was going to say “let’s go back to the car” he rasps and oh, alright.

seunghyung ends up eating taehyung out on the backseat of his mercedes, messy and hurried and all kinds of dirty and then taehyung shakily blows him, trying to make it feel as good as seunghyun did it for him.

when they both calm down, sated and content and seunghyun recovers the control over his legs, they start driving back.

from the shotgun, taehyung looks at seunghyun, his big hands on the steering wheel, his jaw, and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. remembers how good he felt when he saw the way his face brightened and how happy he was when he knew that he made him happy and sighs.

of course this, what he feels for seunghyun, is love. what else could make him feel like he was floating every time his hyung just happens look his way.

 

V

since seunghyun hit thirty, he has been talking nonstop about commitment.

taehyung likes it, like, seunghyun suddenly uses words like _future_ and _our home_ (even though he still lives at the dorm) and suddenly feels the need to clarify to every single person that taehyung is his boyfriend.

but there is a thing that makes him feel uncomfortable about it; suddenly, seunghyun feels the need to meet taehyung parents.

they’ve been dating for a year and a month, and taehyung knows that he wants seunghyun for the long run, _forever_.

he even has been thinking about some words that not even seunghyun has said like _marriage_ and _children._ and he knows he’s young, only 21 (almost 22) but he knows that seunghyun is it for him. wishes with all his heart that he will stay until the end.

the thing about seunghyun meeting his parents is: he is scared about his parents disliking his hyung because of their age difference.

he knows that this is a thing in their relationship. has always been.

and seunghyun has been really adamant on letting taehyung know that he doesn’t want him to grow up faster because of him, he likes him for who he is and how he is. and seunghyun also tries his best to understand when taehyung used to start acting differently because he believed it made him look mature and older.

time has passed, things have gotten better and taehyung has come to terms with that age difference. it doesn’t make him feel inferior anymore. but regardless of how _he_ feels about it, it is there.

eight whole years.

they have a really big fight about the matter, then.

seunghyun asks him if he doesn’t think they have waited enough and if he wants to meet his parents first (taehyung doesn’t, that’s as terrifying as the other way around) or if he just thinks of him as some kind of joke.

taehyung had never seen seunghyun just so… angry. so hurt.

he cries that day, sobbing his words out, explaining that he would never think of seunghyun as nothing less than the man of his dreams and that he is so sorry but he is terrified of what his parents would think of him.

seunghyun’s eyes soften and he holds taehyung until he can stop crying.

after that, seunghyun tells him that he understands but he can’t assume that things will go wrong if they don’t do anything.

“you don’t understand” taehyung croaks, voice broken “I don’t want to lose you because of them”

seunghyun smiles empathetically, “you are not going to lose me. never, baby”

taehyung cries a little more, seunghyun still holding him while standing in the middle of his bedroom, drying his tears and whispering encouragements.  

but after it, they talk and seunghyun proposes to taehyung again the idea of him meeting his parents first.

they agree on doing it on winter break.

seunghyun decides to invite his parents to spend the weekend at his house and when the day finally comes, taehyung is beyond terrified.

his hands won’t stop trembling and his mind is everywhere.

seunghyun kisses him sweetly every time he says that he can’t do it but not even that helps, he’s going into cardiac arrest.

the doorbell rings and taehyung’s heart drops to his stomach.

seunghyun goes to open, leaving him sitting on the couch.

when he comes back, he is talking, his parents in tow, taehyung braces himself for the worst.

“so yeah father, it’s all fine at work” seunghyun’s parents are both smaller than both of them and he looks a lot like his mom. “I want you to meet taehyung, he is my boyfriend” seunghyun says, his hand extended to help taehyung get up.

and it all goes… fine.

like, really good. taehyung can’t even comprehend.

seunghyun’s parents hug him and talk to him and his mom tells him the story about when seunghyun was little and had a crush on his teacher and overall, they _accept him._ even after seunghyun’s father asks his age and he stutters _twenty one, sir._

they ask him about college and what he’s majoring in and seunghyun watches with a proud smile from the kitchen, where he went to serve some drinks.

so, when the weekend is over, taehyung can happily say that meeting his hyung’s parents was a huge success.

but, because things can never be the way he wants them, or more like, the easy way, now it’s his turn to take seunghyun to his parents. and he’s still terrified.

to meet his parents, taehyung tells seunghyun that they need to go back to daegu and so seunghyun plans a little three-day trip, the week before christmas eve.

seunghyun spends the whole day before encouraging him, trying to ease him and make him feel better, but taehyung just _can´t_ stop the feeling from coming back to him, even with seunghyun giving him a massage and braiding his hair. the dread is still there, the expectative. the only thing he wants is for his parents to like seunghyun, to be happy for him and ignore everything else.

that night, taehyung can’t sleep, so he just lays there, on seunghyun’s bed with his hyung’s arms embracing him thinking about the worst scenarios.

because taehyung has been staying in seunghyun’s house since the break begun, the day of the trip they wake up and seunghyun makes him french toast for breakfast, taehyung’s stomach is upset because of his anxiousness so he just takes one or two bites, and spends the rest of the time wondering how is his hyung so calm about what’s to come, even dancing to the music playing from the radio.

the actual trip to daegu is slow, but also quick in taehyung’s eyes.

seunghyun makes two stops and buys some snacks. he jokes and tells stories trying to enlighten the mood, but taehyung is just staring out of the window, praying to any deity.

“you know tae, I’m really trying here, but you are just making me feel like we are going to our deaths” seunghyun says, gaze set on the road.

it has occurred to taehyung that he is _perhaps_ exaggerating and it also has occurred to him that he should trust his parents a little more, but he _is_ scared shitless.

he sighs, feeling guilty.

seunghyun is doing all of this for him, and he _knows_ it. seunghyun told him so when they talked about it.

this is commitment, somewhat a promise.

taehyung takes his hand over the console “I’m sorry hyung” he swallows, trying to look confident, “everything will be alright, yeah?” and he knows that seunghyun knows he isn’t that convinced about what he is saying, but he smiles nonetheless.

“that’s the spirit, sweetheart”

when they arrive to the city it’s almost six in the evening. taehyung feels nostalgic, he hasn’t been there for more than a year, too busy when his parents had the time for him to visit and too broke when he was free.

he lowers the window and the smell of the streets makes him feel calm.

“alright babe, now lead the way” seunghyun tells him, lowering the radio.

 

somehow, to be standing at his parent’s front door feels totally alien to him this time.

it may have to do with the fact that seunghyun’s mercedes is parked at the entry and his hyung is getting their bags.

taehyung hesitates before ringing the bell, but he doesn’t even have to do it because, suddenly, the door is pulled open and his mother is standing there.

“taehyung! baby! oh my god!” she hugs him tightly, her body warm.

taehyung can’t breathe.

“I missed you so much, tae. everybody did, soonshim smelled you and started barking and that’s why I came to open the door!” she tells him, combing his hair with her hands, a huge smile on her face.

he stands there looking at his mom, her eyes bright and happy and his heart pounds wildly. he missed her too “mom I- it’s been a long time, I’m sorry”

“don’t worry! now, now, let’s go inside so you can tell all of us the reason behind your visit! we all have been so curious, your father and your sister even made a bet, but I don’t know the details about that” she laughs, “where’s your luggage?”

right. the reason. “actually, mom-“ he starts, as if on cue, seunghyun calls him.

“tae! your bag was tangled with one of the seatbelts! I had to fight it like a warrior” seunghyun laughs happily and even with his mom standing there, right in front of him and his heart and stomach about to explode from nervousness, taehyung can’t help but roll his eyes and smile like a dummy. it’s not his fault, seunghyun is just really funny in a random way.

his mom tiptoes to see over his shoulder and her eyebrows raise in understanding. she smiles like the cheshire cat, “ah,” she says, “so _that_ was it” she winks and pats his chest before going past him.

seunghyun spots her and suddenly stands straight, his face serious for a split of a second before splitting into what taehyung has come to recognize as his I’m-about-to-charm-your-soul expression, “hello! I’m choi seunghyun, you must be tae’s mom, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you”

taehyung’s mom preens, “oh my, who is this young man? the pleasure is mine!”

taehyung and seunghyun talk at the same time

“I’m tae’s-“

“mom! he-“

when taehyung’s father stands at the door, “darling, what are you doing still outside? it’s dark and freezing! come in!”

“come on, boys!” she says and goes in hurriedly, taehyung stands on the entry waiting for seunghyun to catch him and when seunghyun stands by his side, he stops for a second and leans in to kiss him sweetly.

“don’t worry anymore, tae. we’ll have a good time” seunghyun says and goes in.

 

once inside, taehyung’s father and siblings make a beeline to meet the stranger that accompanies taehyung.

seunghyun, true to taehyung’s knowledge, charms everyone effortlessly. lets his sister speechless because of how handsome he is and his brother and father engage in a politics’ conversation with him, nodding all along to everything he says.

taehyung goes to his bedroom and leaves their bags in there, taking a deep breath of relieve, everything is going fine. he can do it.

his mom calls him and asks him to prepare the table and when they’re all sitting for dinner, seunghyun seems to have captivated every member of the family.

he talks and talks, tells taehyung’s mother about how they met when they crashed with the other in the university campus because both of them were super late (taehyung to his class and seunghyun to the conference he was presiding), tells his siblings about his 90 inches led tv and invites them to come to his house anytime they want and overall, he is just kind and funny.

taehyung can just look at him, totally spellbound with seunghyun’s existence.

it’s all good until seunghyun starts talking his job. now, taehyung loves to see seunghyun talk about his job. he is really passionate about it. but taehyung knows how this is going to end the second seunghyun mentions that he loves being the boss because he has a lot of schedule liberties.

his father is amazed, so when seunghyun finishes, he compliments him honestly “wait a minute, you have accomplished a lot at such a young age! this is wonderful seunghyun”

seunghyun laughs, carefree, “well, I wouldn’t say that, it took me a lot of time and work to get to where I am right now, sir”

and just like that, taehyung’s mother asks the question taehyung was dreading all along, “oh come on, honey. it can be that long! how old are you? twenty-two? three? just accept the compliment!” she smiles.

taehyung’s fork falls from his hands in fear. “uh, no.” seunghyun answers, and for the first time in all the time they have been there he seems nervous, he tries to hide it when he says “I turned thirty last month”

suddenly, there’s a pregnant pause.

even taehyung’s siblings, who were busy talking between themselves, stopped to look at seunghyun, astonished.

taehyung’s mother opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, seunghyun puts on his most brave façade and talks, “I’m sorry but before you say anything I just want you to know, tae was really, really anxious about this. he spent a lot of time trying to convince me about not coming here but. I really wanted to know his family because I’m very serious about him. I really hope that our age difference doesn’t make you think ill about us?”

seunghyun finishes and taehyung notes how his hands are shaking and now, he understands that his hyung has had the same fears as him, even though he has been trying to be positive and mask it all behind his attitude.

he musters all the courage he can and takes seunghyun hand over the table, where everyone can see and gives him a reassuring smile, “thank you, hyung” he whispers sweetly, so only the both of them can hear.

“well, tae always did like them older?” is what his sister says, and just like that all his family laughs and the tension is gone, his father asking more about seunghyun’s job and his mother listening intently.

taehyung feels like he could cry because of the weight that was lifted off his shoulders. his family just accepted seunghyun without a second thought.

seunghyun spends the rest of the dinner caressing his hand and talking to his parents, taehyung listening too, feeling dumb for all the anxiousness and doubt he had been feeling for this get-together.

when dinner is over, taehyung’s mom requests his help in the kitchen to clean all the tableware, and when taehyung is cleaning the plates, she tells him that she and his father like seunghyun a lot and that they trust taehyung enough to believe in his decisions.

taehyung’s eyes do water at this, but he doesn’t cry. he’s just really, really relieved.

his mother leaves him to finish and when he goes out to the living room, what he sees makes his heart sing and his hands to tremble, a thousand butterflies suddenly flying in his stomach.

there is seunghyun playing nintendo with his brother, all his family cheering and having fun.

seunghyun’s words come to his mind then, all the things he has said about them being serious, being committed to each other. thinks about forever again.

thinks about how important this was to seunghyun and now, he understands why.

seunghyun needed this to show taehyung just how invested into him he is. wants to know everything about him, his roots, his past, so he can feel like he deserves to be in his future.

taehyung knows that he loves seunghyun, has known for a long time now, since that night when they were doing taehyung’s dumb essay at three am. has known it with every smile, every kiss, every little touch.

so, he stands there, and watches his hyung and understands that this, this feeling, can’t be compared to anything else he has felt in his life and he knows that he doesn’t want to feel it for anybody else. reaffirms that seunghyun is it for him, because he is in love with everything that he is and everything he has to offer.

that night, when they’re sharing taehyung’s single bed, seunghyun drapes over him and confesses just how scared he has been since taehyung accepted to bring him here, just how much he wanted this to end good, and taehyung kisses him until his hyung’s heart stops beating like crazy and he falls asleep.

 

+1

taehyung is _mad_. has been for the last three days.

when he and seunghyun came back from his parent’s house, taehyung asked seunghyun about his plans for christmas and he promised he was completely free until january fifth. only to, two days later, tell him that he had forgotten about an important meeting in japan he couldn’t evade.

he left the next morning, three days ago, leaving taehyung all by himself on his big village.

the thing is, taehyung had so many plans for their christmas. seunghyun knew about them and even then, he decided to go. and okay, taehyung understands he’s being childish, but his hyung had told him he’d be staying. and he got excited. now he’s alone lounging on seunghyun’s couch eating cold ramen and mumbling angrily every time a christmas themed commercial appears on tv.

seunghyun asks him for forgiveness. has been asking since even before he left, right since the moment he told taehyung about it. but taehyung is angry, so he doesn’t relent. ignores his calls and pettily eats all his food.

tomorrow is the ‘the most joyful day of the year’ and seunghyun is far away. he’s allowed to make a passive-aggressive temper tantrum.

when the night falls, taehyung can hear from his seat on the couch some chorus passing by, singing christmas carols. he buries himself deeper on his sheet burrito, pouting.

this is so unfair. was it that much to wish to spend this day with his hyung? is he being too selfish? in the end it doesn’t matter, his hyung is far away. but taehyung still wonders.

when the clock marks midnight, taehyung sighs. bored out of his mind, still in front of the tv. he doesn’t even want to get up and go to seunghyun’s room, too lazy and cheerless to get up and walk all the way. so he falls asleep on the couch, warm and comfy in his sheet burrito.

 

taehyung wakes up agitated with the sound of the door closing. his mind unfocused but alert. he looks in all directions, scared. when there’s a sudden weight on top of him “stop! no!” he screams his lungs out, mind racing and starts fighting.

it all happens in slow motion then, he kicks something and the next he knows there’s a shout in pain “ow! my dick!”

taehyung gets up quickly to turn on the lights. he _knows_ that voice.

there, lying on the floor is seunghyun, dressed in a suit with his face contorted in pain.

“what the fuck?!” taehyung says loudly “hyung, what the hell? what are you doing here?!” he continues, sliding quickly by seunghyun’s side to help him.

seunghyun groans, “oh my god, taehyung you kicked my balls!” he answers.

taehyung kneels there, speechless. is he dreaming? is this _really_ happening? his hands midway in the air, unsure if he should touch seunghyun or not.

“i-“ taehyung says dumbly “what are you doing here?” he repeats, voice insecure.

seunghyun groans again, “god, the meeting finished early and I took the first plane to seoul to surprise you and, god my dick”

taehyung processes the words slowly, trying to understand them with his still confused mind. the starts laughing hysterically “you what?!”

seunghyun sits down, his mouth downwards “I came here just to surprise you” he says softly.

taehyung launches himself to him “hyung! oh gosh!” he hugs him tight.

seunghyun giggles quietly “I’m sorry for leaving you here, tae. I wanted to spend these days with you, too” taehyung hides his face in the crook of seunghyun’s neck, all warm and content.

taehyung nods, his nose inhaling his hyung’s scent. “hey” seunghyun says “I had something prepared” taehyung looks at him questioning “yeah?”

“yeah” seunghyun answers, “just let me-“ he shimmies rather funnily, with taehyung still in his embrace.

taehyung watches him take something out of his pocket and hold it above their heads “look at that!” seunghyun says, using a surprised tone. taehyung looks up “a mistletoe” his hyung finishes.

taehyung bursts out laughing again “what’s this!” he says, his hands holding seunghyun’s shirt under his suit vest. seunghyun shows him a big smile, all dimples and half moon eyes “a mistletoe” he repeats “you know what to do under it, tae” he says, closing the distance between them. “merry christmas, baby”

seunghyun kisses him softly, a shy press of lips, and taehyung smiles on it. heart fluttering. “merry christmas, hyung”

the thing with seunghyun is, with him everything tends to get out of taehyung’s hands rather quickly. he’s too much, overwhelms taehyung in the best way. he’s always passionate and strong and manly and, honestly. it drives taehyung crazy almost all the time. so, it doesn’t surprise him when the sweet kiss turns heated and dirty.

seunghyun kisses him with purpose, his tongue in taehyung’s mouth, his hands on his waist, then on his ass. “hyung” taehyung gasps. hot all over.

seunghyun breaks the kiss for a moment “let’s make sweet love like in those cheesy christmas movies, tae”

taehyung smiles, amused. then a realization washes over him. “um” taehyung says, suddenly awkward, “hyung we’ve never… you know…” he flushes, his hyung frowns.

“wha-“ seunghyun starts, only to shut up immediately, blushing too. “oh, that’s true”

honestly speaking, taehyung has never given it a thought, despite of everything, his sexual life with seunghyun is pretty active. and it’s so good. they’ve just. never finished the deed. it just hasn’t happened.

seunghyun fumbles, his hands now on the floor. “and… do you want to?” seunghyun asks him, shy.

for a moment, taehyung feels like they’re two teenagers on their sixteen’s, not two grown man on their twenties and thirties trying to consent a sexual relationship. taehyung snorts, his blush deepening. “I mean- yeah” he mumbles, looking at seunghyun on the eyes.

“do you really?” seunghyun asks again, regaining some confidence and putting his hands on taehyung’s waist again. taehyung nods eagerly. “use your words, taehyung” seunghyun commands, voice deep and eyes dark. “I won’t do anything if you don’t ask for it explicitly”

taehyung whimpers, his face hot, “hyung. I want it. I want it so much” he pleads, putting his own hands on seunghyun’s neck.

seunghyun starts kissing his jaw “what do you want, taehyung? you need to say it”

there’s humiliation burning his skin, his throat. he doesn’t think he can say it so crudely.

seunghyun stops kissing him, his stare hard when he locks eyes again with taehyung, “I told you to say it” he says before biting his neck, then his collarbones.

“hyung-“ taehyung gasps, his hands holding the neck of seunghyun’s shirt. “i- I want you to fuck me, hyung” he rasps, his cheeks burning.

“that’s it” seunghyun says before letting go of him completely “all you had to do was ask” and the, effortlessly, seunghyun gets up quickly, taking taehyung with him. he lifts taehyung by his thighs and carries him to his bedroom. it’s so hot, taehyung can feel himself get lightheaded, he’s half hard in his sweats.

they take a little while to get there, because seunghyun makes many stops to kiss him against almost all the walls, rough and hard. taking his time undressing taehyung, leaving his t-shirt on the hall.

when they get there, seunghyun lowers him on the bed carefully, draping himself all over him.

it’s so exciting, to see this big man hovering over him, obviously all hot and bothered. dressed in his designer clothes but his hair a mess thanks to taehyung’s hands.

seunghyun takes his time kissing taehyung, dragging his lips all over his body. his jaw, his neck, all the way to his navel, leaving a trail of hickies where his mouth passes.

taehyung can’t breathe, hands groping the sheets tightly, knuckles white, he moans.

seunghyun looks up at him, from the waist line of taehyung’s sweats before starting to take them off. taehyung’s cock springs out of his boxers, slapping his tummy. hard and leaking. it’s embarrassing how little it took to have him aching.

seunghyun takes both taehyung’s hands on his, places one on his head wordlessly, interlocks the other one with his on taehyung’s thigh. “you’re so pretty” seunghyun says reverently, eyes dark and focused.

taehyung chokes when seunghyun takes his dick in his hand and strokes it, licking softly the head. “seunghyun” he whispers, mind foggy.

seunghyun sucks his dick eagerly, talented mouth leaving taehyung crying out loud. he yanks his hair and seunghyun moans around it and taehyung is actually proud of himself for not coming on spot. “hyung” he whimpers “hyung I’m going to come, stop. stop” he pleads, body arching.

seunghyun stops, letting taehyung’s dick fall of his mouth with an obscene pop. there’s a fucking line of saliva connecting them. “pass me the lube, tae. it’s in the first drawer”

hands shaking, taehyung complies, taking the chance to kiss seunghyun, his mouth salty with the taste of precome.

taehyung’s no stranger to sex. seunghyun himself has fingered him many times, but taehyung is so excited by what’s to come, his body is in overdrive, every sensation making him shiver, his fingertips numb. seunghyun prepares him thoroughly, kissing and biting the inside of his thighs in the process. when he fits three fingers, taehyung can’t take it no more. his prostate stimulated with every trust of his hyung’s fingers. “please” he moans, breathing heavily “please, hyung”

seunghyun complies, takes his fingers out and starts undressing. taehyung lifts himself on his elbows to watch. it’s so hot, seunghyun only getting naked now when he has been naked for a while.

seunghyun gets on the bed again and he seems to hesitate, “what?” taehyung croaks, heart beating fast, his dick leaking out of control. his mouth waters when he looks at his hyung’s cock, big and hard, standing proud against his tummy. “i- can you ride me?” seunghyun says.

taehyung nods eagerly, “yes. yes, I want to”

they rearrange themselves so seunghyun’s back is against the headboard in a half sitting position. taehyung helps him put on the condom, seunghyun’s eyes half lidded, cock twitching.

taehyung gets over his lap, seunghyun’s hands on his hips, and he lowers himself on his cock, with his hyung’s hands guiding him all the way.

seunghyun has never been the most vocal lover, his body always doing the work, but when taehyung bottoms, he lets out the hottest moan ever, loud. his eyes close and his mouth stays open.

taehyung takes his time adjusting, but seunghyun kisses in the mean time hotly, all open mouthed and teeth and leaving his mouth bruised.

it’s a daze from then on, taehyung rides him hard and with purpose. loud sounds and grunts and curses leaving their mouths. heavy breaths mingling. seunghyun kneads his ass and tells him that he owns him. taehyung’s close to blacking out from the pleasure. he comes first, as he expected, but he lasted way more than he thought he would, and still, aching and oversensitive, with a mess on his belly, does his best to pleasure his hyung too.

when seunghyun comes, he holds tight on taehyung’s hips, he hopes it’ll bruise.

but the best, comes after the fucking. seunghyun is so careful, so attentive, he caresses taehyung’s back and carries him to the bathtub because his legs feel like jelly. helps him shampoo his sweaty hair and hugs him tight.

he praises him, tells him how pretty he is, how amazing, how happy he makes seunghyun. taehyung is in cloud nine.

when they’re dressed and cuddled on bed, seunghyun puts his face in taehyung’s neck “kim taehyung. I love you” he enunciates, breath warm “I love you more than I can express with words. from here to the furthest corner of the most recondite galaxy. I’m sorry for ruining your christmas”

taehyung splutters, heart leaping. suddenly, taehyung is brought back to every moment he has thought about this matter. every time he has realized he loves seunghyun, and is pleased to feel that, somewhere along the road, it started to feel as if he was daily falling in love with who seunghyun was. he can’t even pinpoint a moment when he _wasn’t_ utterly enamored. helplessly into him. hopelessly loving him without any drawback.

he hugs seunghyun tight, eyes itching “hyung, I love you too. I’m so in love with you”

seunghyun giggles, leaving a soft kiss on his neck “I’m glad the feeling is mutual. now we can be cheesy forever”

a little while later, seunghyun has fallen asleep, snoring quietly with his face still hiding. taehyung is awake, but just barely. he keeps thinking about that word, _forever_.

his hyung and him still have a long way to go, but if he makes everyday like this; happy and wholesome even when there are bad times, taehyung thinks forever will be a short time to spend with seunghyun.

**Author's Note:**

> i have a morfosintaxis del español test in five hours, but i'm here. sinning.
> 
> i can't believe i posted two time in less than 24 hours jesus i'm the queen of procrastinating i'm telling you
> 
> ANYWAYS KUDOS AND COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS MY FAVE THING, THANK YOU FOR READING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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